Our Treasure.

On the 15th of June 2024 with great sorrow we said goodbye to Snehal. She was a loving wife to me, nurturing mother to Samar, a playful friend, a thoughtful coach, an intelligent colleague and the life of our family. She is sorely missed today and I still can’t really believe that I will never see her again. I often turn around expecting to see her in one of her familiar favourite spots. Or come home looking forward to her leaving everything that she was doing and just talk to me for some time. But it’s only emptiness that stares back at me. Yes, I will miss her. And in our own way I think each of us will miss her differently.

Snehal was a delightfully complex woman; full of juxtapositions and paradoxes. She was as beautiful as she was intelligent, as frivolous as she was worldly, as joyful as she was intense and much more. I think any one who knew her would attest that she is hard to put into words. To me she was like the sea. Vast and deep, every mood, every colour, sometimes calm, rarely stormy, always in motion. It has been my pleasure and privilege to explore life with her. I once asked her about this and she dismissed it as just her Gemini nature. I looked it up, and Geminis are supposed to be curious, intelligent, flighty. But she was so much more. Her battle with cancer showed that she had a core of steel. She could be intensely rational, determined and resilient when the need arose. And it did. Often.

This memorial site is an attempt to capture the many facets of Snehal’s life and keep it for posterity. I am writing this just 2 weeks after her passing so I’m doing it amidst an immense amount of grief. It’s possible that it misses some of the joy and focuses more on the longing to be with her. I will come back over a period of time and correct this. Her Life section will be an account of everything that were important to her. As her best friend for over 20 years and her partner, it is as much catharsis for me as it is a way for her friends and family to know her the way only I could.

Forever Loved.

Most importantly there is a memorial section for her friends and family to find closure by sharing their thoughts, memories photographs etc. So that together we keep her memory alive. From experience, it has helped me to pen down my thoughts regarding her, as I can then let go of them. I don’t need to process them all right now. I can leave them here, knowing that I can come back to them, relive them and find new meaning. I hope it does the same for you.

Snehal’s story is worth telling. She was of course special and unique to her friends and family, as each one of us is. But she was also the quintessential girl next door that you see in the movies. Pretty, happy, healthy. Going through life building a career, a family, having fun with friends, some good days, some bad. You know, just normal. Yet when she got cancer at the young age of 37, just 3 months after her son Samar was born she rose to the occasion and became someone very, very special. I think her story is inspirational in how one can go through the deepest crisis and still live life with grace, and brightness. Rather than feel sorry for oneself, one can go from strength to strength. Even in her darkest hours she never forgot about contributing to her family and community.

This brings me to the primary reason for setting up this memorial. One of the last things Snehal said to me was “I’m not worried that Samar will not be well looked after or that he won’t get enough love. I know that there’s enough people for that. My biggest fear is that he will forget me.”I see what she meant. In the initial days Samar asked everyday “Where’s mamma? Why’s she gone for a loooong time?” But over time, happy child that he is, he’s got busy with Dadi, Papa, school, friends and so on. He hardly ever asks about her now. But I know that he will one day want to know who his mamma was, the beautiful person that she was and her brave story. In a way it’s for that day that this memorial exists. It’s like a time capsule that we’re leaving behind for him to find and reconnect with his loving Mamma.